Christmas Day!

Well, in my opinion, Saint Nicholas needs reading glasses. I didn't get a thing on my list. Not that any of it would have fit under my puny tree. Not even the much-promised hand-knit sweater was there. Unless it's a sleeveless, backless, frontless sweater, which I'm beginning to suspect it is. An Emperor's-New-Clothes type of sweater. What I did get was a flashing disco kitty ball, a little orange mousey with red leather ears, a carton of Ocean Seafood Cocktail with Sauce, and a bar of 100% olive oil castile soap. Oddest of all was the copy of Knitting for Dummies, a pair of little knitting needles, some skeins of Fun Fur, and a certificate for knitting lessons! (Am I being clueless?) Well, at least duck is on the menu for dinner, and there’s always next year to hope for. Ho ho ho.

It’s Christmas Eve and someone brought me a tree! A beautiful little tree with a big red bow. It was left next to my chaise lounge. That must mean it’s my very own tree, under which my presents will be left tonight by Saint Nicholas, patron saint of cats who are good all year. That leaves the other two quite out. Let me see. What would I like? A new blankie, perhaps, one made of real sheep’s fleece instead of the faux one I have now. I would rather that it not be plaid. What else? Oh yes, I’ve always wanted to try some expensive smoked salmon on a china platter, and a little silver dish of Beluga caviar would be just the thing to celebrate the season. I would adore a lovely pink angora sweater for these chilly winter evenings, and would compliment my natural skin tone. My very own stash of catnip would be great fun. Why, the list goes on and on! I think I may need two trees.

Turkey Day!

Today is Turkey Day. That means I get turkey! I love turkey (and chicken and fish and beef—but all that's for tomorrow). My Humans are expecting guests. I can sense this—all the cleaning and vacuuming and running about. This almost never happens. They even washed me. Twice! The turkey my Humans are cooking is quite large. I don't think I could eat it all myself. But I could certainly try. Dinner looks to be quite a feast. Let's see. What can I have? There are four different cheeses including an intriguing triple creme from France. An "olive medley" which is not to my taste but fancy all the same. Potatoes and stuffing, of course, with a luscious giblet gravy. Yum! The obligatory green bean casserole, which I personally can't imagine eating. Cranberry relish, Waldorf salad, corn, pie. Well, the list just gets more and more boring. It's a good thing there's plenty of turkey. What's that on the counter? Hmm, looks like a plate of giblets with my name on it. Is anyone looking?