It’s New Year’s Eve. Tonight at midnight we’re ringing out the old and ringing in the new. I’m not too clear on the ringing part, but I do like the new. We’ll have a fresh year filled to the brim with potential, just in time to make a new start or two. My Humans refer to these as resolutions. Like anyone committed to self improvement, I made some. A few of these may be challenging to keep, but my new middle name for this year is Determination. Pinky D. Lee. I made two lists of resolutions. My first list is aimed at my goal for Longevity (that is, to live to be as insanely old as my Humans are).

1. I will chew my food with slow enjoyment and let the others finish their meal before I dispose of the leftovers. (This will help keep me svelte and slinky.)
2. I will take my yoga practice more seriously (which will lead me to the serene and centered life of perfection to which I aspire.)
3. Beef and Liver Feast is Out. Grilled Ocean Whitefish is In. (Everyone knows red meat is Bad and fish is Good.)
4. Sunscreen is a must at all times while sunbathing (if one wants to have perfect skin in one’s antiquity).

My second list is a purely philanthropic one. I’d like 2008 to be a kinder and gentler year, and I plan to do my part.

1. I will not chase, tackle, or bite the Princess, no matter how incredibly annoying she is.
2. I will share my blankie with him if he really, really needs it.
3. I will treat my bath attendants kindly and refrain from scratching or biting them when they lather up my tail.

This may seem like a very ambitious list, but I’ve started already! For example, tonight I much preferred my Humans’ roast chicken dinner to our Beef Feast with Gravy. Even the red potatoes with butter were quite acceptable. Mezzo-mezzo on the steamed green beans, but healthiness can take some time to adjust to. Oh, I’m just in time to see the local fireworks from the bedroom window. TTFN!

Christmas Day!

Well, in my opinion, Saint Nicholas needs reading glasses. I didn't get a thing on my list. Not that any of it would have fit under my puny tree. Not even the much-promised hand-knit sweater was there. Unless it's a sleeveless, backless, frontless sweater, which I'm beginning to suspect it is. An Emperor's-New-Clothes type of sweater. What I did get was a flashing disco kitty ball, a little orange mousey with red leather ears, a carton of Ocean Seafood Cocktail with Sauce, and a bar of 100% olive oil castile soap. Oddest of all was the copy of Knitting for Dummies, a pair of little knitting needles, some skeins of Fun Fur, and a certificate for knitting lessons! (Am I being clueless?) Well, at least duck is on the menu for dinner, and there’s always next year to hope for. Ho ho ho.

It’s Christmas Eve and someone brought me a tree! A beautiful little tree with a big red bow. It was left next to my chaise lounge. That must mean it’s my very own tree, under which my presents will be left tonight by Saint Nicholas, patron saint of cats who are good all year. That leaves the other two quite out. Let me see. What would I like? A new blankie, perhaps, one made of real sheep’s fleece instead of the faux one I have now. I would rather that it not be plaid. What else? Oh yes, I’ve always wanted to try some expensive smoked salmon on a china platter, and a little silver dish of Beluga caviar would be just the thing to celebrate the season. I would adore a lovely pink angora sweater for these chilly winter evenings, and would compliment my natural skin tone. My very own stash of catnip would be great fun. Why, the list goes on and on! I think I may need two trees.

Enlightenment awaits the true practitioner of yoga, or so I understand. I’d like to be enlightened about many things. Such as why she has no tummy fur but acts like nothing happened. Or why the only thing for dinner is exactly what I don’t feel like eating. Or why the litter box is always full. But this seems like a great deal to expect from a spiritual path, especially one starting with a Y. It does help that I’m a natural. My posture for today is The Sphinx.

It seems I spoke too soon. She’s back—coming in the way she left, shrouded. In the upper rooms, from which I am excluded, silence prevails. No more wailing, no ceaseless footsteps. Why all the secrecy? They bring her food in little china dishes—special food, no doubt—food that the rest of us don’t get to try. I listen at the door when my Humans aren’t looking, but I can’t hear a thing. Even he listens. I’ve seen him sneaking up the stairs and putting his ear to the door. But no. There’s no getting in, not even for him. Our toys are in there. And my special bath soap and towel. My ducky! This is just too much! I used to snuggle close to my Humans under the covers at night, so cozy warm. Now I sleep alone in my blankie, shivering. Come to think of it, what happened to that hand-knit sweater I was promised?

I must be living in a Victorian novel. The weeping and pacing in the upstairs rooms has continued without interruption. Not even those of us on the lower floors have gotten any peace at all. Until this morning when they took her away, poor Princess. I didn’t actually see her go, sequestered as she was in her sedan chair. Then there was silence. Eventually my Humans returned. Alone. This is very disturbing. What am I to suppose? I must be very careful in the coming days not to do anything crazy. Or bad. Or at all. I might be taken away too! The Princess was a sweet little thing. Not really my cup of tea, but too innocent to receive such treatment as this, surely. I wonder where she is now. If they would only bring her home, I would help. I would stay by her side and nurse her back to health and sanity. I know I could do it. I must persuade them. Have hope, little Princess! We may yet see you again!

I’ve decided to take up yoga. With all the goings on here of late, a girl has to do something to calm her nerves. Yoga is a good match for me. To begin with, I’m quite limber and athletic, and I will look very attractive doing the postures. Second, I already spend a good portion of my day in meditation or communing with Nature. Yoga will help me achieve at-one-ment with the Universe and enhance my specialness of being. There are many postures for me to choose from to showcase my natural abilities. Here I am doing The Cat. Ohmm…