I have been on my diet now for ten days, and I must say that I’m beginning to look quite buff. I have, of course, been exercising, jogging up and down the stairs with The Princess—not my first choice of work-out partners, but he doesn’t seem to have a health-conscious bone in his body.
My new leaner self is not, however, due to the sublime deliciousness of the menu. No. Who knew healthy food had no taste? I do like the idea of eating a good diet with, for instance, a real food substance like fish or chicken or beef as the first ingredient instead of some mysterious meat by-product. Ethnic ingredients such as ground corn meal or soy flour are chic and tasty, but sadly they are quite full of carbs, and so are verboten. My Humans, naturally wanting to provide me with only the very best, brought home some All Natural food in tiny, gourmet-style gold tins. I was literally dancing with anticipation as the first adorable can was opened and served to me in a white French custard cup. This very special, chosen-just-for-me food was the most amazingly unappetizing meal I have ever tasted. Where did the flavor go? The label listed tuna and white fish and egg. Chicken? In there! But then came brown rice and carrots and sweet potato like an army of portly carbs marching across the label. At the end were the cranberries and blueberries. Are these dessert? There were vitamins and minerals. There were even amino acid complexes. I checked every single ingredient. Where were the artificial and natural flavors? Not in there. Could this be the real secret of successful weight loss? I know my Humans mean well, but I do hope that next time they will check the labels first to make sure that flavors have been included. Surely flavors don’t have that many carbs.